I had to hear other officers sing this to me daily for no less than six months after this song came out. Of course, they incorporated my last name into the song and I’m still listed as “Pogalicious” in some cell phones. I guess I shouldn’t really ask why wives hate me. But I can’t help it their husbands are mildly retarded.
While I was on deployment in the Middle East, they used to bleep the “phunk” like it was a dirty word or something. I have no idea what brought me to this video on Youtube.
My old elementary school, junior high, and high school were on lock-down on Friday.
Ugh, this is the only photo of the cover I could find (courtesy of Amazon) and I'm not happy. This is NOT the cover I remember and when I get around to posting the next installment, I'll take a photo of mine so I can snark on it.
I’m ashamed to admit this was my favorite book when I was a youngster. I’m also ashamed to admit I’m doing this recap from memory because I’m too lazy to walk over to the bookcase.
First up: Alice Larson, Date: 1866-a boring Swede who’s traveling to America since she’s an orphan and all. During the voyage some little boy gets swept overboard during a storm because his parents are idiots to have him topside in the first place. It is, after all, fucking storming and the waves are coming over the side of the boat and whatnot. So take Junior down below, huh? Anyway, since she’s wearing 18,000 pieces of clothing (this being 1866 and all), she tires pretty easily and nearly drowns. Lucky for her there’s some dude named Theodore Wakefield who is a fucking Olympic swimmer and pulls Alice and the wee one back onto the boat.
Since these are the ancestors of the Wakefield twins, and the Wakefields are pretty well known to fall hard and fast for menfolk (and vice versa), Alice and Ted fall truly, madly, deeply in love, even though Alice speaks like two words of English. Teddy whittles her a wooden rose copied from the family crest on his ring. Alice smiles a lot and doesn’t do anything special, really.
Anyway, they reach America, ready to start their new life together, only Ted is held in quarantine and Alice thinks he’s ditched her. Alice ends up going with her aunt and uncle to Prairie Lakes, Minnesota where she meets and marries some dude names George Johnson.
Elisabeth and Jessamyn Johnson, Dates: 1877-1893- twins, obviously, white white-blonde hair and blue-green eyes. Oh, and little Elisabeth has a mole on her right shoulder, just like her great-great-great-granddaughter Elizabeth! OMG, coinkidink! Anyway, Jess is a major tomboy and Lis is sweet and shy. Elisabeth teaches freed slaves how to read (and I’m sure she looks smug while doing so; sanctimoniousness runs in the family, I’m sure) and Jessamyn is just Jessamyn. Elisabeth is dating town hottie Tom Wilkens (gag) and Jess grows up infatuated with the circus. When the circus first comes to Praire Lakes, Jess sneaks around, getting some behind the scene looks and meeting an acrobat named The Amazing Theo W. Can you guess who Theo W actually is. Alice learns of his existence through Jessamyn’s ramblings and goes to the circus after hours to see if it is really her beloved! Fuck George, who is waiting faithfully at home, right Alice? Well, the circus has already left and now Alice will never know.
Finally, Jessamyn leaves home to join the circus because small town life is D-U-L-L dull. Elisabeth is heartbroken and begins to take horseback riding lessons with the same dude Jess had been taking horseback riding lessons with and when he tells her he’s dying Lis decides she’s going to track Jess down and bring her ass home. Elisabeth rides the rails until she stumbles upon Jess. The twins reunite and Lis wants to show Jess how awesome her skills are riding bareback. (There is a joke in there; I’m just too mature to make it) Elisabeth rides around the circus ring, faster and faster until she slips and is thrown from the horse. And, here we say good-bye to Elisabeth Johnson R.I.P 1877-1893. I hate the fact that made me bawl like a baby the first time I read that.
Jessamyn Johnson Dates: 1900-1906- Jess is now a successful business woman, wearing power suits and shoulder pads, in San Francisco. She’s torn between two menfolk, Taylor Watson, head of the Watson Motor Company, and some douche named Bruce Farber, some automobile racer dude. Bruce is in the lead for Jess’ heart because she is an idiot. The big earthquake of San Francisco hits while Bruce and Jess are having a “picnic” atop some grass hill. During that time, Bruce acts like a coward and Taylor risks his life to same some lady. That’s when Jessamyn knows she really loves Taylor.
I’m going off to bed, so look for part two, which tells the lives of another set of twins and two more blonde hair, blue eyed hotties, sometime in the near future.
I just signed up, after being reminded by Shannon. I can’t wait to write absolute crap!
…but I’m not 100% certain I’ll be making it to LA.
I’m not trying to be a wet blanket or anything.
It really needs more posts, but I’ve been sick and at the docs every other day, so you can see why I haven’t been posting lately.
Anywho, I just watched Casino Royale, again, and I decided we all need more Eva Green in our lives.
I can't think of a better picture. Eva Green. Ewan McGregor. I die (copy-write Rachel Zoe)
Did you know Eva was a redhead now? Well, she might not be anymore, but she was for a hot minute.
I've posted this before and I will again. Because this is America, dammit! Also, this is now the second best picture to ever have existed.
Is it too early to stand in line for this movie?
Young Eva with her momma and twin sister
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the third best pic to ever have existed. My girl crush with my man whore
This is why I love her so. She wears whatever the fuck she wants. No apologies.
She makes the greatest faces, which in turn makes the greatest avies
I wish we could totally hang out. It would be a blast
I would like to thank this awesome blog for some of the pics listed above.
This is the kind of weather that soaks you in seconds.
In honor of the day you were birthed, I give you these tidy offerings. First up…
VINTAGE 300 MOFO!!1!!1!
Isn't he pretty? I tried to find the one with the purple IPOD, but I couldn't 
And because we know with whom Dirty Pete and Mossers truly belong (hint: it’s each other)
This was my computer background for a while and it is again
Ah, true love. How cute is this pic? Just try and think this is how they are right now. AND that they reunited on your birfday!
Oh, and I found this video while looking for PeteMoss pics (that is a brill title, btw, Miss Anners).
Did you catch that young ass pic of Kate Moss?
And, of course, because this post would not be complete without a pic of Blooming Onion, here he is!
Happy Birthday!
عيد ميلاد سعيد
生日快乐
všechno nejlepší k narozeninám
maligayang kaarawan ( I actually knew this one. It’s Tagalog!)
Hyvää syntymäpäivää
joyeux anniversaire
גליקליכן געבורטסטאָג
Grattis på födelsedagen
С Днем Рождения
Lindsay a.k.a Busty St. Clair
What Say Ye?