I Have Watched This Way Too Many Times Today

But it’s still not enough. I want to go there.

Welcome Back, Kotter

Hi. This is back more because I have to have it, more than I really want to have it. Part of my contractual obligations or some such nonsense.

So, let us begin, yes?

As I was driving to work last night, I just about wrecked poor old Christine/Armando when I caught a young girl of no more than 13 in my peripheral. I WISH I could have gotten a pic, but I’m certain society tends to frown on complete strangers photographing young’uns, so you’ll have to do with my brief description as to what she was wearing. This young lady, who in no way shape or form could have been born before 1990, or even 1995 for that matter, was decked out in a pair of acid wash jean shorts, black leggings, ballet slippers, a denim jacket, and hair that could only have been achieved through the wonders of Aqua-Net. Exchange ballet shoes with jelly shoes, and you have me circa 1988. Oh, of course with the awesomeness that is a bananaclip pinning my dark locks behind my head, which left me with a massive and not at all cool looking ‘fro sticking about a foot from the back of my noggin. Seriously, I beleive I have broken more bananaclips with my tangled web of hair than one can count using both hands, but that never deterred me from rocking the hell out of them. Or trying to rock the hell out of them. But, let me get back to what the point of this whole paragraph is. THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THIS LOOK SHOULD EVER, EVER, EVER COME BACK IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM! It was ugly in the 80′s and it’s ugly now.

Which gets me onto a nostalgic track. I used to sport this awesome outfit which consisted of a ruffled white skirt with a pair of zebra striped leggings attached to the shirt (yes I said attached to the skirt) and a matching white Tee with a pink and black zebra on the front and black and white striped sleeves. I was the SHIT in that outfit. I also paired that awesome shirt with a pair of black and white striped stirr-up pants and Keds. Oh, and I also rocked a pair of skinny jeans with little bows running up the side of each leg. Only, back then, we (and is in we, I mean pretty much everyone in the Mid-West), referred to them as tight jeans. The term skinny jeans hadn’t made it into the vernacular yet. Creative bunch, us Mid-Westerners.

Now, let me vear off a bit more to the subject of my hair. My horrid, horrid hair that caused me to be mocked and ridiculed as a child, thus turning me into the cat-owning, crochety shut-in I am today. My hair has never, and I repeat NEVER, allowed me to style it. Between the ages of 5 and 19, my poor head was crowned with a massive tangle of curls that sort of reminded you of Little Orphan Annie, only not nearly as cute. You seriously couldn’t put a comb through that shit. It was always soft bristle brushes and the few times my mother attempted to run a comb through my hair, the sonofawhore broke. Yes, the comb broke. And I was left with nothing but tears and a head tangled in knots. No matter what I did, it stayed a massive tangle of knots and dry curls.

Between the ages of 19-21, I played up my curls, but I always had to use so much product, they ended up crunchy and very, very annoying.

But then I found if I just pulled it back and allowed it to dry that way, it ususally came out straight and managable. So, to this day, I always have my hair up. Always. Because once the slightest of moisture hits the air or I get done with a massive workout, my hair ends up in knotty little curls, just as they had been in my younger years. Which is so very annoying seeing as how I live in the Pacific Northwest. Because it rains. A lot.

P.S. I need to get my own GD internet. Can anyone confirm or deny the fact Clearwire has a wireless card you can plug into a USB port? Cause that’s what I need right there. For reals.

P.P.S. Ihave this thing due on the 20 and it’s, what, the 15th? And not one fucking this has been started. Yay, procastination!